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A Humorous Holiday Survival Guide for Family Gatherings

Wednesday, 12 November 2008

jpg_wine201 It is that time of year again; Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming up fast and many people will be getting together with extended families.  I know how stressful it can be to just plan and prepare dinner... not to mention decorating and/or cleaning your house if the get together is at your home.  If the family gathering is out of town, you have all the packing and all the things that leaving your home for a couple of days or more entail; as well as the traveling to do.

I've decided to use humor to help us get through this holiday season's family gatherings.  I promise to write a more serious holiday survival guide before Thanksgiving.  Who knows you might be able to use these tips; and sometimes... humor is the only way to survive the holidays.

Let's break it down by the family members that cause so much tension during the holidays.

Mother and/or Mother-in-law

Many people are lucky to think of their mothers or mothers-in-law as their best friend.  In many cases though, mothers and mothers-in-law are the single biggest person of contention for us.  If you have a mother or mother-in-law that is over-bearing, their way is the only way or has a narcissist personality, to name a few, then you know exactly what I'm talking about.  Unfortunately, many of us know the stress this type of person can be on a good day... add in all the pressure of a holiday and well - it can be more than we can handle sometimes.  Here are a few tips on how to handle those too annoying mothers and mothers-in-law:

  • If you can't beat 'em, join 'em -  If your mom or mother-in-law likes to tell you how you should do things or implies she could do it better- start telling her how you would/could do whatever she is doing  better.  Start annoying her back.  Sometimes they do things to get a rise out of you; so don't let them see you sweat.  Give it right back to them... but better.  You will be giving her a taste of her own medicine.
  • Ignore her -  Pretend she is invisible... do not respond not matter what she says or does.  This may be hard to do sometimes.  I remember my mom telling me as a child that if someone was bothering me to just ignore them.  She said this would irritate them more because they were doing things to get my attention; so ignoring them would be the worse thing I could do.  So when your mother or mother-in-law starts in... ignore her.
  • Drink - get sloshed; get numb.  Get drunk and she won't get to you.  Maybe you'll just laugh at everything.

Father and/or Father-in-law

This special man in your life can be a strong and loving role model.  However, if you are one of the unfortunate ones, that have a father or father-in-law that is loud, obnoxious, flirty, self-righteous or any other irritating trait then you are not alone in dreading the holidays.  Try these tips out while around your father/father-in-law this Thanksgiving or Christmas:

  • Avoidance - try to stay clear of him.  Take an Ipod or book for example, and hide out in the bathroom.  Conveniently come down with a stomach bug.  This works best if there is two or more bathrooms.
  • Pretend - this is closely related to the above tip.  In this situation, claim to have strep throat or some other contagion and you don't want to breathe on them.  This can keep him at a distance.
  • Drink - get sloshed; get numb.  Get drunk and he won't get to you.  Maybe you'll just laugh at everything.

Brother or Brother-in-law and/or Sister or Sister-in-law

Siblings and siblings-in-law can really try your patience.  Sibling rivalry is commonplace.  During the holidays a brother or sister can really step on some nerves.  Do you have a brother or sister that are the favorites?  The perfect can't do anything wrong brother or sister?  Or do you have the whining brother or sister that never takes responsibility for their actions?  This Thanksgiving and/or Christmas try these tips out:

  • Be childish - if things get too stressful with a sibling revert to your childhood.  Resort to name calling, and those ever popular phrases like "I know you are, but what am I" and "I'm rubber you're glue. Whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you."  You can also cry and/or have a temper tantrum, this especially works if you want to have all the attention. 
  • Avoidance - this one works well for siblings and siblings-in-law.  Once again just hide away in the bathroom proclaiming a stomach bug.  Sometimes it's best to just avoid those that stress us.  Especially at family gatherings like Thanksgiving and Christmas.
  • Drink - get sloshed; get numb.  Get drunk and he won't get to you.  Maybe you'll just laugh at everything.  As the Pink Floyd song says get "comfortably numb".

I've covered the family members that generally cause the most discomfort during family gatherings; I know there are other relatives that can irritate us,  like crazy aunts and uncles or the obnoxious distant cousin.  You can use these tips on any and all family members as needed.

Please, take these tips in the light in which they were given.  I find humor to be a great way to deal with things and sometimes (like holiday gatherings) it's best to laugh... or else you might be cry.

Next week I'll give you a more serious and realistic survival guide for your holiday get togethers.  Until then try to find some humor in your upcoming holiday festivities.

If you have a humorous tip on how to deal with a family member during the holidays... please share it with us.  We would love to hear it!

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Written by:   Donna Chaffins
Categories:   Family & Health | Holidays and Observances | How To's | Tips
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Pursuit of Happiness... should be for more than one week a year

Saturday, 8 November 2008

Did you know that the second week of November is Pursuit of Happiness week?  This year that's November 8 - 14, 2008.  I like the idea of Pursuit of Happiness week and hope I strive for happiness every week.  Shouldn't we all be in the pursuit of happiness, everyday?

Sometimes we get caught up in all the mundane day to day tasks and responsibilities that we may forget to pursue happiness.  So for this week make a conscious effort to pursue your happiness... and remind others to do the same.

A few tips on how to find happiness:

  • Figure out what is important to you right now -  Is it time with family or a better position at work?  Or more "me" time or better health?  The possibilities are endless... just write down the first things that pop in your head. 
  • Make happiness a priority in you life -  Think about the times in your life when you were truly happy.  Remember the feeling and actively strive to attain it now.
  • Take baby steps -  Start with little things each day that make you feel good.  Do something that relaxes you and makes you feel good; like taking 15 minutes to read, take a bath, meditate, call a friend, take a walk, just to name a few.  Just take the time and do it.
  • Train yourself to be an optimist -  Think of the bright side and let go of negative thoughts.  Every time you start to think a negative thought - stop!  Replace it with a positive thought.  It may seem difficult (and yes, at times it is), but if you practice thinking positively, you will be surprised at just how easy it starts to become.

If you really want to be happy - you will be.  And pay it forward... do something that will make someone else happy, without expecting anything in return. 

Here are some free e-cards you can send to family and friends for Pursuit of Happiness week.  This week would also be a good time to watch Pursuit of Happyness, starring Will Smith.  If you haven't seen it yet... I highly recommend it!  If you have seen it already... watch it again.

Here are two web sites that are perfect for Pursuit of Happiness week... and everyday:

  1. eHappyLife - I discovered this site recently and must tell you it is one of the best places to help you find your happiness.  On Sundays you can read their Life's Lessons.  I'm still reading them and hope to get caught up with them all soon.  Excellent reads and excellent motivators.
  2. The Quote Garden - a collection of inspirational quotations to inspire happiness.

One last and very important thing... be thankful.  Be thankful for what you do have and where you are at this time of your life.  Everyone can find something, regardless how small, that they can be thankful for.

My wish for you is that you will find happiness in the smallest of things; and before you know it, you'll receive happiness in the biggest of things.  Happy Pursuit of Happiness week!

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Written by:   Donna Chaffins
Categories:   Family & Health | Holidays and Observances | How To's | Motivational | Tips | Web Sites
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3 Tips On How To Raise Money Smart Kids

Monday, 27 October 2008

jpg_moneybox131 For the first time in many years, millions of parents are finding themselves saying - No.  We want our children to have all the things we didn't; I know I feel that way.  It scares me to think that today's children may be the first in many years to have less than their parents.

It is important to teach our children at a young age the concept of money, and in today's economy it is crucial.  Children will have a greater respect for money and be able to make smarter choices if parents start teaching them financial responsibility as early as possible.

I feel that we have a generation of children, especially teens, that have gotten use to getting everything they want.  Now with so many families struggling to make ends meet - doing everything they can to not lose their homes or to just put food on the table - it is vital we teach our children the importance of a budget and how to save.

Believe it or not you can teach children as early as age two the concept of money.  Children see their parents spending money, writing checks and using their debit/credit cards; whether or not they totally grasp the idea of money that can understand that there is an exchange of money for goods.

These tips will help you to teach your children to be responsible with money.  Who knows, you may even learn a few things yourself.

 

First you need to teach your children the concept of money.

They need to recognize and learn the value of coins and paper money.  If you don't have a piggy bank, use a jar.  Just don't spend money on one (be creative - any container with a lid will do). This first tip is for young children.  If you already have tweens and teens you can skip to tip two.  Some ideas for teaching money concepts are:

  • Differentiate between the coins -  Show them how the coins are different in color and size.  One concept that is difficult for young children to grasp is that the dime, although smallest, is worth more than the penny and nickel.  You need to do this on a regular basis until they get it. 
  • Pretend - Play store.  If you have a toy cash register use it... if not just pretend. Let them go shopping for toys they already have and pay for them.  At the bottom of this post is a link to a site where you can print and then cut out play money.
  • Use real life - Take advantage of opportunities to teach them about money.  When you go to the grocery store or shopping explain to them that you have to pay for the things you are buying.  Let them hand the cashier the money.  This works especially well if they are buying something for themselves using their allowance or money they earned.

 

The second tip is to lead by example.

Should you be open and honest with your children about how much you make?  A few years ago I would have said no.  However, I think it is important that your children understand how much you earn and bring in to the household versus how much is going out.  Of course, you can't tell your four or five year old how much your salary is and the amount the mortgage you pay monthly...  unless you want it announced to the world.  I think by the age of seven or eight kids can be told the truth about the family's finances.  Start by explaining what the word "debt" is and if you have debts let them know.

You need to be a good role model when it comes to money.  If you want your children to be financially smart - YOU have to be financially smart.  If your kids see you budget and act responsible with money it will help them to do the same. 

If they don't know the financial situation they assume that money is a bottomless pit from which money will always be there.  I remember my mom asking me  "do you think money grows on trees?"  This made me pause for a minute... hmmm, did it grow on trees?!  This was my introduction into money - where it came from and at that time in our lives... how little there was of it.

So be as open and honest as you can about finances.  Don't scare your children or stress them out but teach them the value of money.  Teach them that you work hard for your money and that you should act responsibly with that money.  Teach them by example the importance of saving for your future (or a rainy day), giving to charities and spending sensibly.  This leads me to the next tip:

 

The third tip is let them be responsible for their own money.

When they receive money as a gift for birthdays and holidays is a great time to teach them to be responsible with their money.  And If you do have the money and want to give your child/children an allowance for doing things above and beyond what they should/have to do as far as chores go this is a good way of teaching them work ethics.  Remember, their allowance is an equivalent to a salary.  So they only get their allowance/salary once a week if they earned it.  Think of it this way, an allowance should be given to promote healthy money management.

Maybe they can negotiate pay raises once or twice a year.  On the other hand, you can also exercise your right to make pay cuts if they aren't doing a good job.  Now here are three things to teach them to do with the money they receive, either as gift or an allowance:

 

1. Savings - teach the importance of putting money back for the future.  This is paying yourself first.  As adults we should pay ourselves first by saving for retirement or to have money put back for when something unexpected comes up.  We can tell kids that maybe they can save for a bicycle, a car or most importantly for college.  With the economy as shaky as it is right now, parents may not be able to pay for their children's college education (or at least not in its entirety).  This way kids can help by saving for it too.

2. Charity - giving a percentage of their money gift or allowance will help teach your child the importance of giving.  Teach them to give without wanting to receive anything in return.  They will learn satisfaction in helping others and learning to put off their own needs in favor of someone else.  Now as for how much they should give is up to your child (with guidance from you).  Some schools of thought is 10% of your income or allowance in this case.  However modest their donations, getting into the giving habit is a sound financial management principal for your child. 

For younger children they can save up their money in a special jar dedicated for this purpose. Label the jar “My contribution money” or something else to reinforce the idea that the money in the jar is for a special purpose. When the money reaches a certain amount (say, $10 or $25 dollars) the money can be sent to the charity your child has selected.  Since younger children are more hands on, maybe they can physically give the money to a local charity.  Older children can save the money in a jar as well or in a separate bank account for this purpose and write a check to the charity of their choice.

3. Spending sensibly - Of course your child should be able to spend money they've received as a gift or allowance on things they want.  But here is a great opportunity to teach your children how to be smart consumers... and to be frugal.  Sometimes they (and we as parents) think they have to have something right now.  This is understandable since all the commercials and ads tell us we need it NOW!  Show them that buying responsibly has its own rewards when they time their purchases wisely.

What money they have left each week after they put an allotted amount in savings and for charities they should be able to have "mad money".   This is your child's fun money.  It is to be spent on a weekly basis for immediate gratification stuff like candy, small trinkets, or whatever they want!

As I said though, you can take this opportunity to teach them to bargain shop.  To find the best deals on what they want.  They can learn how to get more for their buck and how to stretch a dollar; invaluable money lessons that will stay with them and be a big payoff throughout their lives.

 

I'm optimistic that the state of today's economy will not last forever.  My hope is that my son will have a healthy and wealthy future.  Even if things turn around in the financial world these lessons will still be invaluable.  After all, most self-made millionaires/billionaires are smart with their money.  So teach your children today how to be tomorrow's billionaire.

Check out MoneyInstructor.com where you can print out money and coins to teach your young children about money.  They have free printable worksheets and teaching lessons.

Just remember, it is never too late to start teaching good financial responsibilities to our children; but don't delay... get started today!

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Written by:   Donna Chaffins
Categories:   Education | Family & Health | How To's | Tips
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Mom Corps - A Life Saver For Working Moms

Thursday, 17 July 2008

I discovered a wonderful web site for working moms, Mom Corps.  The site asks the question "Wondering how you can have it all?  Career, family, and Balance?"  This issue plagues many women who want or need to work but at the same time want to be with their children. 

At Mom Corps, they give "candidates" (you), the flexibility you need to achieve your goal of finding success both personally and professionally.

With today's economy, many stay at home moms are finding themselves having to go back to work.  This is where Mom Corps comes in.  Mom Corps is a web site that allows working moms to fill out information about how flexible that they need a job to be and submit their resume.  So you can find flexible work that you can schedule your hours so that you can work around your child/children's needs.

If you are looking for employment that will offer you the flexibility to earn an income as well as allow you to take care of your families needs and responsibilities, I suggest you check out Mom Corps.

It is free to register with Mom Corps and post your resume, as well as, search their job boards.  They do have a featured listing that you have to pay for, that places your resume on the top of the search results when a potential employer looks for candidates.  I would suggest saving your money though, and forego this feature.

Good luck and happy job hunting!  If you have already had experience with Mom Corps, share your experience  with us.  Hope to hear from you.  Enjoy life!!!

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Written by:   Donna Chaffins
Categories:   Family & Health | In The News | Tips | Working at Home
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How To Tell If You Get Enough Sleep

Tuesday, 1 July 2008

gif_sdm_sleeping_moon Do you get enough sleep?  Getting enough sleep is such an issue today.  We hear how getting enough sleep is detrimental to good health; even that if we don't get 7 to 8 hours sleep a night we won't live as long as we would if we did get a full 8 hours of zzzz's a night.  With the busy lifestyles we live today it seems harder and harder to get eight hours of sleep a night.  Here is a great article 'Do You Sleep Enough Hours' by Daisy Sutherland, that I highly recommend you read!  It gives you some great tips to a better night's sleep.

I hope you are able to find some useful information from this article.  If you have tips for getting more sleep, share them with us.  Here's to a good nights sleep!  Enjoy life!!!

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Written by:   Donna Chaffins
Categories:   Family & Health | How To's | Tips
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How To Dress Thinner

Friday, 20 June 2008

Woman 20resized I have a secret; you can look slimmer, longer and leaner, without losing an ounce!  How you ask?  By following these 10 simple tips for dressing skinny:

  1. Wear proper undergarments - bras and panties that are too small make lumps under your clothes.  Underwear that fits properly gives a smoother, thinner silhouette.
  2. Go monochromatic - when you wear one color or variation of one shade from head to toe, it creates a long lean line (translation: thinner).  Wearing one color creates an unbroken line and a thinner, sleeker you.  Two colors, by the way, will cut you in half and give you a much wider profile.
  3. Wear v-neck tops - to create an illusion of a longer neckline that will give you an overall slimmer look.
  4. Avoid pleated pants - regardless of how slender you are, pleated pants do not look flattering on any figure.  They add bulk to your middle and make you look bigger.  Wear smooth flat front trousers instead.
  5. Wear A-line skirts - they skim over your hips, making you appear more streamlined.  An A-line skirt looks flattering on any type of figure.
  6. Wear straight-leg or boot-cut pants - they make legs look thinner than tapered or wide leg pants.
  7. Wear pants on the long side with heels -  will give you a longer, leaner appearance.  If you are petite or short, don’t wear cropped or Capri pants with flats because they will make you look squat.
  8. Look for jackets that fall below the hips - they elongate and slim the body.
  9. Avoid baggy clothes - many women think that wearing baggy clothes will hide their lumps and bumps.  However, baggy clothes will actually make you look bigger.  Wear clothes that fit properly.  Not too big or too small.
  10. Play up your best feature - if you have heavy hips and waist, keep the focus on the top.  Wear great makeup and get a flattering haircut so people will look at your face.  If you are top heavy but have great legs, play them up.  Wear a skirt with high heels.


So if you have a little extra weight and you want to look thinner now, follow these tips and you can look 10 lbs lighter instantly.  If you have tips on dressing thinner, we would love to hear them.  Hope to hear from you!  Enjoy Life!!!

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Written by:   Donna Chaffins
Categories:   Lists | Random Thoughts and Conversations | How To's | Tips
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